How do we manage anxiety and stay calm and present?
When learning how to regulate our own nervous system and manage our anxiety during challenging times, it is important to develop awareness of the small shifts in our felt-sense, the nuances of our feelings, sensations, and experiences. If we can catch that we are begging to get out of balance and take a resourcing action right away, we can usually easily return to functioning within the limits of our “window of tolerance.” It is much harder to come back to balance after we have been significantly dis-regulated.
There are only two steps to staying calm and present and managing anxiety, but they rely heavily on you knowing yourself, catching that moment, and engaging the resources that you know from experience will help you recover back to your emotional balance.
1) Notice when you are BEGINNING to get dis-regulated or going beyond your “window of tolerance”:
- Your breath is shallow and/or you are sighing or your breath is faster than normal.
- You are picking at your fingers, biting fingernails, rubbing hands.
- You are engaging in other nervous behaviors such as swinging a foot, chewing gum, chattering or talking a lot.
- You are reaching for an unhealthy snack, smoke, alcohol, or other substances.
- You are holding tension in various parts of your body.
- You are more emotionally sensitive than usual.
- You notice an increased heart rate.
- You have a sense of being spacey, foggy, cranky, or irritable.
- Your voice is whiny and you feel like crying.
- You feel tired or bored.
- Your negative self-talk is getting stronger.
- This looks different for everyone. Know yourself and what you do when you are starting to get dis-regulated.
2) As soon as you notice any of your signals of dis-regulation, begin to resource yourself:
- Notice and name the experience, feeling, or sensation.
- Focus on slowly breathing in and out of your belly.
- Make the exhale longer than the inhale.
- Drink water or tea.
- Engage your senses: Colors, contrasts, textures, sounds, smells, sensations, temperature.
- Change the position of your body.
- Get up and walk around, step outside, or go for a jog.
- Have eye contact with someone.
- Touch someone, ask for touch, or give yourself a hug.
- Stretch, do yoga, qigong, or taichi.
- Massage your hands, feet, ears.
- Move your awareness to your feet.
- Squeeze your hands or move something with your feet.
- Say a mantra (affirmation), such as “I am safe at this moment.”
- Change the lighting.
- Gently rock yourself.
- Laugh or smile inwardly.
- Take a nap.
- Sing or listen to music.
- Have a healthy snack.
- Take a bath or a shower.
- Brush your hair or massage your face.
- Talk to a friend.
- Put the palm of your hand on your forehead, your chest, or your abdomen.
- Different approaches are effective for different people. What helps you to regulate yourself?